“I Just Don’t Like You Very Much”
Yep! This was said to me by a coworker. I was a student. It happened after two weeks of knowing this person.
My Midwest self still cannot fathom the gall, to say this to any person.
To this day, have no idea how I managed to react the way I did. I didn’t get mad, I didn’t shut down. I asked “why?”
The response I got was: because they believed that I was not very smart. I asked something to the extent of how was I presenting that way. Turns out the two students before me, had “been smarter” and they thought I was being fake.
Welp, I was 2 weeks into my first clinical in that setting. It was totally acceptable for me to know very little.
I WAS BEING FAKE!
This was the moment, I realized I had imposter syndrome.
For a variety of reasons, I was “faking it, until I made it.”
As a PT, in my second year of work, I started to get over the imposter syndrome a bit. But, as soon as I overcame it in one area it invaded another.
It is so easy to compare myself to clinicians who have been treating for 15 years; to weight lifters who are stronger and faster; to coaches that have more students and are teaching higher levels. We have access to so much information about other people.
In that clinical, I was forced to address my Imposter Syndrome, and cope. For me, that super negative moment of having someone tell me they didn’t like me, has actually lead to long term strategies in coping and over coming my Imposter Syndrome.
Here are 4 things I do daily:
- Choosing my mentors wisely (purge the social media accounts that make you question yourself)
- Remembering everyone started out somewhere
- Recognizing everyone feels insecure
- Reassuring myself that it is a good thing to be learning
Thankfully, with that clinical experience, it was only 8 weeks long. I took the Midwest path and chose to “kill them, with kindness.” To avoid making those six following weeks worse, I befriended the person; and got vulnerable, showing that I wasn’t perfect and didn’t think I was. Imposter Syndrome can be disabling. However, recognizing it and reminding your self of the four things above are great starts to combating and overcoming Imposter Syndrome.